CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
In the face of what looks like a very real threat to his leadership, Malcolm Turnbull has today announced plans of removing Paris climate change targets from the National Energy Guarantee in his second policy reset in four days.
The revised scheme will not stipulate a 26 per cent cut to greenhouse gas emissions in either legislation or regulation under changes aimed at keeping nameless backbenchers happy by effectively denying the fact that humans are responsible for any form of environmental damage.
“”Those of you who are worried about the environment are just going to have to fuck up for now”
Asked whether his leadership was under threat, the Prime Minister replied: “I enjoy the confidence of the cabinet and my party room.”
When asked if he thinks that he might be compromising a bit too much to maintain his position as the most powerful man in Australia, Turnbull responded as honestly as he could.
“Grow a set, you lot”
“Don’t underestimate the erratic behaviour of backbenchers you’ve never heard of, when faced with the possibility of losing their seats due to manipulated power prices, and then being forced to find another job that pays a lot less than $150k per year without perks”
“It’s up to me to control the narrative. And I believe blaming climate scientists for power prices is the easiest option, and by far the most popular opinion in my party room”
Turnbull paused briefly and sighed.
“Look, it’s either me or Dutton.” he said.
“No one wants to see members of our Muslim community wearing patches on their sleeves”
