EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
In some strange news, Labour MP Tanya Plibersek has today apologised for calling Peter Dutton ‘Voldemort’, despite it being a nickname everybody uses to describe the porpoise like liberal MP.
This insult, used within an inch of its life by publications such a Pedestrian TV, is admittedly quite accurate, seeing as Dutton as he has no discernable features except for his cold, reptilian-like eyes and exceptionally smooth head.
Had Dutton been a nicer person, it would stand to reason that making fun of someone’s appearance is a cheap blow and nothing short of schoolyard tactics. But considering Dutton’s flagrant disregard for human rights and numerous cases of corruption, it appears as though his appearance is merely taking on the form of his ugly soul, one horcrux at a time.
Speaking to Brisbane radio 4BC on Wednesday, Plibersek admitted that children may be scared of Dutton when they see him on TV, considering he looked as though he licked his eyes to blink.
Prime minister Anthony Albanese has hit out at her remarks by stating that the comparison was not acceptable, prompting Plibersek to agree, and clarify her scathing comments.
Plibersek is alleged to have said that she ‘should have referred to him by he who must not be named’, as using the name ‘Voldemort’ could prompt him to launch a defamation lawsuit – with those who uttered the name having their IP address immediately made known to MP, who would then materialise in their home office with a letter of intent.
It’s unknown if Dutton will continue with his lawsuit, but The Advocate would also like to clarify that we don’t think he looks like Voldemort at all, but more like a desecrated mango seed.
More to come.
