WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The Colaition has today explained to The Advocate why a Federal Independent Commission Against Corruption, or similar watchdog type body isn’t necessary.
“Listen here, us blokes don’t have anything to hide, and therefore we don’t need a Federal body to investigate any behaviour that may be deemed suspicious,” said Prime Minister Scott Morrison in his most blokey voice.
“Our Federal politicians are incredibly honest, moral, and trusted human beings who are able to regulate themselves and hold themselves accountable,” he said.
“Trust us,” he laughed.
“Oh I mean, there’s been a few scandals here and there regarding dodgy payments and political appointments, but it’s all hot air.”
The Prime Minister explained that the former Trade Minister Andrew Robb, who helped a Chinese company gain the lucrative 99 year Port of Darwin lease; before quitting politics and walking into a casual 880k consultancy gig with the same company just days after quitting politics, was an appointment based on merit.
“No way anything crook happened there boys. He definitely got that job based upon merit. Just like a lot of politicians who land plumb gigs straight after politics, he got it because he is really good at stuff, not because he may have been doing any favours,” Morrison said.
Shorten confirmed to us that he would begrudgingly support calls for a Federal ICAC.
“I have to just say the opposite of what the PM says. I mean, if I’m totally honest with you, we’ve avoided it for as long as possible, but I don’t think we can get away with it anymore considering how crooked our state pollies have been across the country,” Shorten said.
“It’s a bit annoying that the crossbenchers and the Greens are carrying on actually,” he said.
“They are just jealous that mining, business, and finance companies and property developers don’t ask their politicians to do them favours.”
