World News

Egotistical Billionaire To Fix America Like That Other One Fixed Twitter

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact In some exciting news for residents of the United States of America, and the world at large, Donald Trump is back baby. The egotistical billionaire who managed to divide the nation in a manner not seen for over a century, has revealed that he's gonna have another crack at being a president. After losing the last election in...

Report: Ya Can’t Stop An Honest Crook

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Despite a plethora of lawsuits and federal charges piling up on his desk, former President Donald Trump has today made it official that he will be back for a second run at the US Presidency in 2024. The 76-year-old announced his candidacy moments ago during a live press conference live at Mar-a-Lago, the same resort that was raided by...

“Bro That One With The Bright Orange Sauce… That’s My Favourite” Albanese Tells Xi Jinping

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has met with Chinese President Xi Jinping at the G20 Summit, the first Australian leader to do so in six years. Xi Jinping says he hopes Australia and China can work closer together after 'a difficult few years' between the nations - which is a polite way of saying 'We didn't appreciate Scott Morrison comments...

UK Prime Minister Liz Truss Pulls A Mal Meninga

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Liz Truss will become the shortest-serving prime minister in Britain's history after simply pulling a runner from her new duties before they even really began.While Liz Truss is not directly responsible for the death of Queen Elizabeth, there are many Brits who will never forgive the Tory party for allowing their beloved Monarch’s funeral to be hijacked by...

Heartbroken 50-Year-Old White Boy Will Be On His Knees Tonight Sayin Prayers In Da Street Lights

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT I'M EDUCATED FOOL WITH MONEY ON MY MIND: Local Betoota-based Regional Product Integration Coordinator, Glenn Mealey (50) has had to take an early mark from the office today, as he mourns the passing of an artist who shaped his entire early adulthood. This follows the news out of the US that pioneering rap artist Coolio has died aged 59. The...

GTA VI Leak Suggests Rockstar Games Might Bringing Back The Heavily Pixelated Michelli Roadster

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT SOUL MAKING, SOUND SHAKING, EARTH QUAKING: One of the most successful franchises in gaming history has this week suffered a catastrophic blow to the roll-out of their next instalment. This comes as an anonymous hacker releases test gameplay footage of the upcoming video game Grand Theft Auto VI, in what has been described as one of the biggest leaks...

Prince Andrew Really Missing His A-Team Right Now

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Yesterday's funeral for Queen Elizabeth II marks one of the biggest television events of the decade, on top of the hundreds of thousands of Brits who crowded the streets of London to witness the Monarch's final procession The Royal send-off has seen the biggest-ever gathering of senior dignitaries, with more than 500 kings, queens, prime ministers and presidents travelling...

Leonardo DiCaprio Mixes Things Up And Goes For A Cougar

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Famous actor Leonardo DiCaprio has set gossip columnists' tongues wagging today, after reportedly shacking up with someone old enough to be a mother. The Academy Award winner has apparently been spotted cozying up with supermodel Gigi Hadid, after moving on from his previous girlfriend Camila Morrone. However, while the American has a long and storied history of dating...

Bring Back Traditional Masculinity: Why Are Straight Men Acting Like Queens In The Workplace?

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The woke agenda has officially gone too far this week, after new reports that straight men are being forced to act like Queens in order to find work. This news has been relayed globally, as the war on 'traditional masculinity' creeps into both military ranks and cultural institutions right across the Western World. Once upon a time, men were allowed...

Prince Andrew: “You… You Promise You’ll Look After Me Too Won’t You Charlie?”

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The longest-ever reign of monarch, that of Queen Elizabeth II is over. Elizabeth Alexandra Mary Windsor died Thursday at Balmoral Castle, her estate in Scotland. She was 96. The palace issued a statement about 6.30 p.m. local time - triggering an outpouring of mournful tributes from billions. Her eldest son and heir, Prince Charles, Prince of Wales, immediately became King...

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