Report: Friend Just Messaging To Let You Know She’s Hungry
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIn some completely mundane news, a couple of best mates have reached the ‘frequently updating each other with the most trivial parts of...
Mum Thought You Might Want Your Mail Opened For You
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTProving that some people still go the extra mile for customer satisfaction, Betoota mum Sophia Kenning (49) has taken the initiative and opened...
Worst Possible Outcome: Random Guy You Confided In At Kick Ons Now Considers You A Close Friend
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTIn a surprising turn of events, a late-night party and some nonsensical conversations with strangers at a random after-party have led to the...
Cake Sitting In Window Of ‘The Cheesecake Shop’ Older Than Junior Employee At Counter
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactHealth and Safety officers have been left gobsmacked this week, as an employee at the Betoota Heights Westfield Shopping Centre Cheesecake Shop discovered...
Bloke Struggling To Sleep At 1am Unsure Whether To Hyperfixate On World War II Or 9/11
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local bloke from Betoota Heights has today revealed some of his learnings about 911 to our reporter, after taking a deep dive...
Local Woman Finds Herself Thinking About That Dog They Sent Into Space Again
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local woman with a bad habit of hyper fixating on very sad things has already kickstarted her day off on the wrong...
‘I Decided It Was Time To Make Healthy Choices’ Says Bloke Whose Gut Is Finally Begging For Change
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA Betoota Ponds bloke has this week proudly decreed to anyone who will listen that he’s making ‘healthier choices’ with his life, which...
That One Uncle Gives Fluoride Conspiracies A Break While Focusing On ‘Aboriginal Land Tax’
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
A Betoota family has been given a reprieve of sorts leading up to the referendum as one of their madder uncles has given...
New Apartment Tower Wins Heritage Listing After Inspection Finds It’s Deteriorated As If It Was Built In The 1600s
RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact
Betoota’s famed French Quarter has just added another significant heritage building to its ranks today.The brand new, 22 storey apartment tower is a...
Self-Conscious Bayside Town Doesn’t Even Claim To Be State’s Best Fish And Chips
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA bayside town has revealed they don’t quite think too highly of themselves as not one of their takeaway places claims to have...
