Labor Party confirms Bill Shorten will receive participation ribbon after election
19 May, 2016. 11:34
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN USED TO introduce his classic tune Born To Run by saying: "nobody wins, unless everybody wins," but he doesn't do it anymore, because it's just not true.
However, that's the essence of the new mantra coming out of the Labor camp this morning, with National Secretary George Wright confirming that...
Local Vegan torn between pleasing Waleed Aly and not consuming dairy products
18 May, 2016. 11:34
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
SHEENA DECKHART IS TORN between her blind love for a Gold Logie-winning presenter and her outright determination not to consume animal products.
Last night, Waleed Aly grabbed the bandleader's baton and lead the march toward getting to the bottom of the rotten mess that is the dairy industry, which he ended with...
Jarryd Hayne’s NFL retirement may force Fox Sports News to do some journalism
16 May, 2016. 15:45
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
FORMER SAN FRANSISCO 49ERS punt returner Jarryd Hayne has walked away from the game after a season with the gridiron team to chase another lifelong dream.
His departure has left fans and sporting commentators shellshocked, but Hayne says the Olympic Games in Rio are calling his name.
He is set to play for...
Nation Dedicates Roughly 26 Seconds Of Thought To Tomic’s Withdrawal From Rio
14 May, 2016 14:45
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Experts agree that much like Nick Kyrgios, Australian tennis person Bernard Tomic was probably not smacked as a child.
The entire tennis community has berated Bernard Tomic today for his decision to forgo representing Australia at the Rio Olympics in favour of playing an obscure ATP Tour event in Mexico.
Instead of going to Brazil in August,...
Bill Shorten reveals he maintains his cool composure by screaming into pillows
14 May, 2016. 15:34
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
DESPITE BEHIND IN NEARLY every poll, Opposition leader Bill Shorten has been cooler than a cucumber this election campaign, which he chalks up to one simple trick.
"I scream into a pillow three times a day," reveals the 49-year-old, who celebrated his birthday on Thursday.
"The goose feather ones work the best. I...
Bouncer Asks Patron To Recite Man From Snowy River Backwards While Hopping On One Foot
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
ONE OF HIS FAVOURITE tricks is to tell a punter to go for a walk around the block, or to come back in an hour.
He says seeing the look on someone's face when you tell them they're not coming in will never get old.
You could walk around the block until the sun comes up...
NRL Shocked To Once Again Learn That Ex-Players Don’t Make Very Good Accountants
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The NRL has fined the Manly Sea Eagles $750,000 for breaches of the salary cap over the past five years, while two officials have also received 12-month bans.
“What we have found is that hiring former footballers to run a professional sport franchise is probably not the best way to go" said club CEO Joel Surfiekhunt.
"Especially when most...
Shane Warne, Andrew Johns and Grant Hackett to film a bender for charity
12 May, 2016. 17:45
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
SAID TO BE THE COMBINATION of the 40 Hour Famine and a country rugby league Mad Monday, three stalwarts of the Australian bender scene have come together in aid of a very special charity.
Cricketing legend Shane Warne and Swimmer Grant Hackett came up with the idea of filming a bender, which...
Q&A’s Duncan Storrar named in Panama Papers
12 May, 2016. 17:45
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
SELF-CONFESSED TAX PAYER and welfare recipient Duncan Storrar shot to fame earlier this week after going into bat for Aussie battlers on ABC's Q&A.
This morning, he's famous for another reason.
Alongside this morning's revelations surrounding Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull's involvement, the 45-year-old father of two was once a director of an offshore company...
Local Woman’s Sunday Morning Bout Of ‘Food-Poisoning’ Completely Self-Diagnosed
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A Brisbane woman has recovered from a bout of self-diagnosed food poisoning despite doctors sending her home for excessive inebriation and the onset of dehydration.
“They told me to go home, put a bucket next to the bed, keep my fluids up and to sleep it off,” said Lizzy Anderson, 28-year-old personal assistant to the CBD office leasing...