Centrelink Gives Into Public Demand And Changes Their Hold Music To Dune Rats
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact
During a routine phone call to government services agency Centrelink, JobSeeker recipient Nick Wahl (27) was relieved to finally hear that his demands...
Local Man Hits Happiest Low Point As Kebab Shop Guy Asks If He’s Having ‘The Usual’
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
After a long day at work, featuring an early start, late finish and a passive-aggressive office-wide email about the state of the...
Cheap Hose Fitting Counting Down The Hours Until It Can Make It Look Like You’ve Wet Your Pants
FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact
A cheap hose fitting has confirmed that it really is counting down the hours until it can unexpectedly pop off the hose...
Hometown Bloke Who Used To Tattoo Self With Ballpoint Ink Now Smarter Than Any Epidemiologist
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
In some genuinely surprising news from Betoota Heights this afternoon, it's been revealed that a local man is actually smarter than the entire...
Middle-Class Family Rocked To Their Core By Unprecedented Belly Button Piercing
TRACEY BENDINGER | Local News | Contact
Maddie Hay (18) has just sent shockwaves through her sensible middle-class family after revealing to her mother and...
McDonald’s Launch Second Legal Case After Hungry Jacks Announce New JcChicken Burger
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The Burger Wars are heating up today!
Following McDonalds announcing that it was suing Hungry Jacks for the new Big Jack, the rival...
Sharehouse Bong Manages To Survive Breaking Long Enough To Warrant An Official Name
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
It was a monumental day for residents of French Quarter sharehouse ‘The Quarterway’ as their communal bong managed to survive long enough without...
Country Boy Fails Captcha Test After Being Unable To Identify Pictures Of Traffic Lights
FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact
In a brutal example of the tough times facing today’s primary producers, a local lad has failed a captcha test after the...
Marketing Agency Lobbyists Reportedly Behind 100 Hour Placement Policies At Australian Unis
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE |CONTACT
In news that has shocked no one, it’s reported that the 100 hour placement policy required by universities was spearheaded by marketing agencies....
Historians Conclude Meek Kid With Allergies From Primary School May Not Have Had Karate Black Belt After All
FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact
Former students have reacted with surprise this week after a new report found the quiet kid in primary school who was allergic...
