The Wallabies have unveiled a team it hopes will make everyone happy today.

With the Bledisloe Cup kicking off this weekend over in Wellington at 2pm on Sunday, a new era of Wallabies is set to be ushered in – where players are seemingly get picked on current form, rather than allegiances and performances from years ago.

While that news has the 1000 or so die-hard rugby fans left in the country salivating at the prospects of young Harry Wilson barging over the gain line, Daugunu throwing out the back, around the corner offloads and Paisami putting on shots that make you shudder – the Wallabies have been careful to keep the game’s powerbrokers and gatekeepers happy.

New Coach Dave Rennie explained exclusively to The Advocate that he’s very much aware how frowned upon a Kiwi trying to replicate what works for New Zealand is.

“I’ve still got enough GPS alumni in there to keep the petulant ex-Wallaby boomers happy,” explained Rennie.

“Cause we know what happens when the establishment does something those Old boys don’t like,” he said, while gesturing a knife running across his throat like a knife.

“But there should be enough GPS boys in there to keep them happy.”

While Rennie and his staff are being congratulated by the rugby community for putting together a team that could possibly defeat the All Blacks, the red nosed old toffs at Mr Wongs have also lauded him for his careful nod to the game’s cultural heritage.

Former Wallabies flanker from the 1970s Peter Rich-Whiteman explained to The Advocate that he’s happy for now, but fielding any more commoners than this could become a problem.

“There’s a few too many boys in there who grew up west of the fish market” said the bloke who has done nothing for rugby other than sit on 6 different boards where no one knows what he does other than speak at corporate events and show up at fan days, since he wore gold jersey a couple times back when the All Blacks were white PE teachers.

“I have no problem with people from out west, so long as they are from west of the great dividing range haha” he said.

“But yes yes yes this idea of a greater western Sydney grassroots is a myth. Those people don’t understand or respect the game like we do.”

“Rugby is a game for people with intelligence, with imagination, and an impressive 2 kilometre ergo”


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