‘Better to be safe than sorry’ has been the mantra of Chris Carey for the best part of her life. It has saved her from countless near death experiences and today it has prevented her sore throat from most likely turning into full-blown pneumonia.

Carey, a fun loving twenty-nine-year-old, was given a gym membership for Christmas by her boyfriend, who hoped to change both their exercise habits before his 30th birthday in June this year. However, the cunning Carey has managed to put off her first pump class for yet another day.

“Yeah (clears throat) it feels like it could develop into something more serious. You shouldn’t over exert yourself if you’re sick, so I reckon I might just sit out today’s session.”

“Wines on the other hand, they actually prevent sickness. I dunno [sic] the science behind it but something about them just cures any symptom.”

The Advocate reached out to Australia’s peak scientific body to get their professional opinion on the matter and to see if there was any truth behind Chris’s seemingly counterintuitive approach to his health.

“Bottom line, no. Drinking will not cure a cold. But red wine will make you feel like you beat it” Explained Sam Sangiovese, lead researcher of the alcohol division at the CSIRO.

Upon relaying this information to Mz. Carey, she promptly skolled her water and order a bottle of the house pinot noir.

“Can’t argue with science” was Carey’s closing statement.

More to come.


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