KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A local Dad is weighing up his options for a second dinner, after being subject to a disappointing new food trend, homemade Poke Bowls.
Ravenously hungry and in dire need of a carbohydrate, it’s believed local mines manager Warren Warmsley (53), was last spotted secretly exploring the family pantry, in search of a bowl of cereal.
The Advocate understands the situation unfolded after Mr Warmsley was forced to pretend to enjoy a Salmon and Edamame Bean Poke Bowl, cooked up by his loving wife, Janeen.
“Honestly mate, it was like chunks of tuna on top of a bowl of compost scraps,” said Mr Warmsely.
“How is anyone getting around these things!”
“I know I’m a bit rusted when it comes to dinner, I like Bangers and Mash, Shepherds Pie… Hell I don’t mind a bit of international cuisine, when Jan does Mongolian Beef it’s an international wonder!”
“But ever since she signed us up to that HelloFresho box, every dinner has been about as enjoyable as stumping your shin on a tow bar.”
The Advocate understands Warmsely’s decision to experiment with Poke Bowls was inspired by some concerning family health advice and the arrival of the CSIRO Total Well-Being Diet cookbook, which had recently taken prime position on the family kitchen bench.
Speaking to Mrs Warmsely, the inclusion of Poke Bowls was simply an act of love for the health of her husband.
“I know a bowl with mushed avo, shredded cabbage won’t be Warren’s thing, but if I don’t start making some alternatives he’ll be up for a liver transplant in six months.”
“Warren will happily eat six different animals a day, so it wouldn’t hurt for him to try just one pescatarian meal in his life!”
Following the kimchi-inspired catastrophe, The Advocate is currently investigating reports that Mr Warmsely was spotted sneaking through a local KFC under the guise of “ducking out to fill up the car with fuel”.
More to come.
