LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact

The 2020 Federal Budget has caused a fair stir this week.

Perhaps most controversially, it can be revealed that the 2020 Federal Budget includes a $20 per week subsidy for former Catholic Cardinal George Pell to play Keno at his local bowling club.

It’s believed the former Cardinal has asked for a Keno to be set up in the Vatican’s bowling club until he comes back home – which is probably never given what happened last time.

George Pell became a controversial figure for his public promotion of Catholic doctrine and penchant for covering up child sex abuse.

Pell is also credited with making pedophilia a left/right politically issue with dozens of right-wing columnists lining up with hot takes in defence of the Catholic Church’s behaviour.

With such a controversial background, many have wondered why the coalition has decided to bequeath Pell a lobster a week for a game about as fascinating as a Catholic sermon.

“He is a man just like any other Australian, why shouldn’t he have a bit of money for a punt?” said the PM.

“He has dedicated his life to a worthy cause, promoting the message of God and protecting wealthy and powerful men. No. I’m not hearing any more questions about it or it’s going to be $50 a week ok!”


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