ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The Prime Minister has thanked God and his angst-riddled son that it’s Friday today because he’s had a week from hell to cap of what’s been another 12 months of sustained mediocrity and professional failures.
To top it all off, Scott Morrison stands accused by his political opponents and taxpayers of giving a series of lucrative contracts to some of his best mates, who are set to run the Home Affairs Federal Quarantine stations from next year.
It’s an accusation that’s understandably frustrated the Bloke-In-Chief, who’s just a regular bloke thrust into the position of Prime Minister by the grace of God, like in some sort of Hallmark movie kind of way.
Nevertheless, Morrison spent the last sitting day of Parliament telling Opposition leader Anthony Albanese that he was a fuckwit with a shit haircut and lamenting the fact that there’s no Federal Body that could clear him of any wrongdoing over the Home Affairs contracts.
“It’s so unfair,” the PM told his 3rd best friend, The Speaker.
“Labor can just accuse me of being corrupt without having an independent and non-biased authority to examine the facts and come to the conclusion that Albo is making me look bad with no evidence,”
“If only we had a Federal Corruption Watchdog, then I could defer this matter to it and be exonerated. Then, we can drag Albo down to Civic and put him in the stocks and let the Christmas shoppers throw rotten produce at him,”
“Instead, they can’t just call me anything under the sun and get away with it.”
More to come.
