ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The retired General who represents HM The Queen in our parliament is wondering today if he’ll have to call the election himself after the incumbent Coalition Government seems to be hesitant to the idea.
“I’m going to have to call this motherfucker myself, aren’t I?” said Governor-Genereal David Hurley to himself this morning as he fetched the newspapers from the end of Government House’s driveway.
“Where is this fucking guy? He said he was coming last week.”
Prime Minister Scott Morrison has been awaiting the outcome of a court case in the NSW Courts which will allow him to install his own candidates in electorates, leapfrogging local branches.
Yesterday in Sydney, the Government got their victory and pre-selection was granted to a number of candidates that were hand-picked by the Prime Minister because they are “good people”.
That’s cold comfort to the Governor-General, who told The Advocate today that he’s sick of waiting around for Scott Morrison to pop over and that he’s got shit to do in his life.
“Does he think my time isn’t valuable?” said General Hurley.
“I’ve boiled the same jug of water a dozen times. Each time I see a white beamer come up the drive way, this past week, I’ve thought it was fucking ScoMo but it’s just one of my staff coming back from Woden KFC,”
“So I’m wondering if I should just call it and be done with it. I can’t imagine how the AEC is feeling. I know the director there well and he’d be softly headbutting the wall in the shower each morning wondering why he didn’t do something else with his life. Something anonymous and well-paid, like civil engineering or something,”
“Don’t we all wish we could do it again?”
The Advocate reached out to The Prime Minister’s Office for comment but have yet to receive a reply.
More to come.
