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“There wasn’t even a result, bruz,” he said, handed extended out toward the television.
“I don’t think anybody in this house appreciates just how much I don’t like soccer. It’s the most boring thing in the world. They don’t do anything other than kick the ball around in circles and fall over when people run into them,”
“That’s not even the worst part. They’ve broadcast it at the same time as The Footy Show. And this is my television! I can’t even watch what I want in my own house on my own television.”
The case Miles Longmire is building against his housemates is a strong one but justice, especially on this godforsaken island, doesn’t always prevail.
Last night in the French Quarter sharehouse he and three other middle-class cis white males currently occupy, the 25-year-old was outvoted as to what they were going to watch that night.
Three to one.
“That would’ve been a better scoreline,” admits Longmire.
“And I don’t care who got the three goals, either. You know it’s one thing I’ve never got my head around. How a human being can sit still for two hours and watch something that doesn’t always end in a result. I tell you what, if they want more Australians to watch the game, remove the goalies. Make the scorelines like 30-37 or something.”
Our reporter spoke to one of Miles’ housemates, one who voted to watch the soccer, who said the match was great – despite Longmire’s constantly moaning.
Asking to remain anonymous, he explained to The Advocate that he watched the game because it was an idle Thursday night and Australia was playing.
“I’m not the biggest football fan in the world,” he said.
“But I enjoy sport and if a male sporting team is playing in a World Cup Final, you bet you bottom dollar that I’ll be watching it. I like cricket as much as Miles hates soccer. That doesn’t mean I won’t watch the game if Australia makes the World Cup Final next year,”
“But there’s no chance in hell that’s happening so I don’t need to worry.”
More to come.
