EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
A brave and selfless anti mask protester has today stepped up to save a poor defenceless animal from the shackles of a dystopian society, doing what no one else had the decency to do.
Despite masks only being required on public transport or in waiting rooms, Alan Cole finds it ‘fucking stupid’ that people may choose to wear of their volation, citing it as a clear case of ‘leftist brainwashing’ and a slippery slope to a totalitarian government like something from 1984 (he hasn’t read but he gets the general gist).
From rapidly posting unchecked facts on Facebook, to glaring at anyone of the cucks he sees sporting one in public, Alan makes sure to make his opinions known – because despite always loudly expressing his opinions with absolutely no repercussions, Alan is under the impression that he’s being repressed.
So when he spied a dog wearing a muzzle tied up outside his local Woolies, Alan instantly knew what he had to do – release the poor beast from the face prison imposed on him by his barbaric owner.
“Aw you poor sod”, Alan had said, feeling around for a buckle, “some people don’t deserve pets.”
Ignoring the warning growl omitting from the bone crushing jaw of the ‘labrador cross’, Alan finds his freedom hatch and lets it rip.
Alan is reported to have been mauled to the point of hospitalisation which has further fuelled his fury, as he’s now been forced to wear a surgical mask.
More to come.
