ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Opposition leader Anthony Albanese is spending his last morning in COVID isolation announcing a swathe of new tax policy, including a new tax on woven leather shoes.
The price hike on the popular footwear is set to impact the hip pockets of the Moderate Liberals, who almost exclusively wear the shoe during the warming months.
It’s being seen as a “petty and pathetic” move by the Liberal MPs the new tax is set to affect, however, the new tax is estimated to generate nearly $2300 in revenue.
Speaking to The Advocate today, Mr Albanese said it’s a tax designed to make the top end of town pay their fair share.
“You know, uh,” he said
“When, uh, I said that I like to fight Torries, uh, I also meant I also like to tax the green shit out of their stupid shoes [laughs] Oh, have you ever had a little Torry soft cock take his little woven shoes off in your office? It smells like, uh, when you accidentally clip a dead bloated wombat on the side of the road and the stench comes in through the air conditioning. It’s enough to make you, uh, wanna power spew on the steering wheel, it, uh, is,”
“This tax will not make life harder for working Australians, it will make life harder for those bastard Young Liberals who still live at home or in some flat down the road their Dad shoehorned them into. This tax will make their shoes more expensive, which is something I find hilarious,”
“We have more policy to announce later today, so keep your ear to the ground.”
Liberal MP Dave Sharma, one of the nation’s greatest share traders, has hit back at Mr Albanese saying that it’s more a case of discrimination than anything else.
He told The Advocate today that he has dozens of young men, all wearing $300 jeans that are too small for them, a baseball-style shirt that looks like it’s bodypaint, rose-tinted Ray-Bans and woven leather sandals, out working the streets for him.
“It’s a tax aimed squarely at Moderate Liberals and I don’t like it,” he said.
“A vote for an independent is a vote for Labor and more of these silly taxes. Which is a bit rich, considering I see Albo in the Qantas Chairman’s Longue all the time.”
More to come.
