ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Our Prime Bloke Scott Morrison has instructed his aides to make sure he has enough Australian flag masks to last him a couple years in case China stops making them for him over recent developments.
“You never know what they’re up to, the Chinese,” said Morrison to The Advocate.
Once again, our reporter concluded that Mr Morrison had got our newspaper confused with The Betoota Bugle, which is the last broadsheet newspaper in the Diamantina, runs at a huge loss and is owned by News Corp.
“So I got my office girl to order me up a thousand, which is about 2.74 years worth. A thousand days! [laughs] Yeah I know they’re reusable but I’m not paying for them,”
“I’d hate to go back to wearing the povo medical ones that you see tramps and bums wear on the street. So-called New Australians wear them. It’s not for me, have some self-respect and buy a washable mask you never wash,”
“We could make them here but we Australians have big fat fingers! [laughs] We Barnaby and I do so there’s a good cross-section of society. Nah, they just have great craftsmanship in China. They have such tiny hands, good for sowing and whatnot. Australian-made stuff is usually over-priced and shithouse anyway.”
The Prime Minister then apologised as his media advisor has just walked into his office at the Embassy in Washington.
After a short conversation between them, Morrison came back on the phone.
“Is this The Bugle or The Advocate?”
More to come.
