CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
In a massive blow to the mood of the bosses, a Samoan account manager has said that he is not interested in joining the company’s touch footy side.
The executives of a Betoota-based consultancy firm, Jackson Organisation Consultancy Consolidated (JOCCs), were previously under the assumption that the white-collar Pacific Islander would be a walk up start to the team, and might even have a history of playing representative football.
However, to their dismay, Louis Lima (32) grew up playing soccer.
“Oh for fuck’s sake” said the furious CFO, Ken Jackson (68)
“Who else have we got? Dylan from HR. That bloke would pull up lame in running race”
Despite completely inappropriate insistence from up above, Louis says he refuses to give into the racial profiling.
“No way cunt” Louis told our reporters
“I’ve got two kids at home, I’m not risking a poorly-insured hamstring injury just so these red-nosed pissheads can show off to their corporate mates from club days.
Louis says aside from assumptions that he enjoys reggae music and has cousins who lop down trees at a cheap rate, the rugby stereotype is by far his least favourite.
“It is completely out of line to assume that I’m good at football because I am Polynesian”
“I didn’t even make Aussie schoolboys – I only made the Queensland side because Karmichael got glandular fever”
