ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The common rock pigeon responsible for marketing the game of rugby union in this country has unveiled their latest plan to rebrand the struggling code ahead of the Bledisloe Cup opener next week.
In recent years, rugby union has struggled to shake off the image that it’s simply a pastime for little private school cunts before they go on to bigger and better things at some bank. Much work has been put into telling rugby’s international stories. About its popularity in the South Pacific and among continental Europeans deemed too violent for soccer and handball. Of course, the rugby powerhouse of New Zealand stands alone in capturing the national attention whenever they play. Perhaps Georgia does too but even Pigeon, who spoke to The Advocate earlier, doesn’t really know why the game is so popular in the former Soviet republic.
However, with the signing of former coach Eddie Jones, a new dawn has risen at Rugby Australia and the marketing pigeon says they wanted to punctuate that with a special merch drop.
“We’re trying to think outside the box now at Rugby Australia, which is why I settled on RM Williams. Everyone knows it’s now owned by rugby tragic and ethical billionaire Twiggy Forrest, so it just felt right,” explained the pigeon.
“We thought, ‘OK, we’re losing pretty much every kid in Western Sydney to the Panthers or GWS. Lost most of Brisbane to the Dolphins and Broncs now. Selling rugby to Victorians is like trying to sell a boot-load of King James Bibles culchies in Country Cork. It’s not going to happen,’ and what can we do to try and stop this? To try and make rugby more appealing to a wider audience?”
“That’s right. A collaboration with RM Williams. You can even buy a R.M.Williams Heritage rugby ball for $999. Yep. You can buy a rugby ball for a grand. Don’t believe me? Go check the website,”
“It’s this type of thinking and renewed energy that will get the country up and about for the Rugby World Cup here in 2027. It will get people down to the MCG next week to sing songs and cheer the boys home against the All Blacks,”
“This is the future.”
More to come.
