DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACT
Australia is one of the wealthiest countries on Earth with some of the most cashed up citizens there’s ever been in all of recorded history. That’s because Australians are an aspirational people who strive to better themselves and each other.
We are the global 1% and we are living inside a magical gumdrop smile called the Australian Dream. In this Dream is the promise of a better tomorrow.
And also heaps of fucking moneyyy!
Yet despite having far more wealth than most of the poor 7.84 billion foreigners in other sad countries, studies show that Aussies are less happy than they were a year ago, and this dissatisfaction has been on the decline for decades.
What gives?
Well it turns out that in a country of plenty like ours there’s just never enough for us. Thankfully, as Australia’s leading thought expert on Money I have devised a strategy that will support you to get plenty more out of whatever this Country has left.
All you need to do is become a greedy money pig. Here’s how:
1. FUCK YOU, GOT MINE: This is your new money pig mantra. Repeat it each morning as you plan out your day in ways that only work to get you more money.
This will help you internalise becoming a greedy money pig in both thought and action. Skills you can then implement into your day to day life.
So roll up your hooves, shove your chompers down in the trough and suckle at the teat of Australia’s endless wealth while squealing ‘fuck you, got mine!’
2. MORE, MORE, MORE!
Once you’ve solidified your money pig mantra into your daily routine of greedy piggery, you’ll see how more money comes to you just like it does to all those other greedy piggy wiggies out there clompidity clomping across the country.
It’s at this pivotal moment of transformation that you officially become a greedy money pig. Here you learn that the ultimate truth at the core of the Australian Dream is the profoundly simply concept of MORE!
MORE! Fucking Gimme MORE Dammit!
Money favours the greediest of money pigs so clomp your hooves over to that endless promise of more money, roll over in that filthy mud with all the other greedy piggy wiggies and gorge yourself obscenely.
It is the modern Australian Dream after all.
