CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

Even after making a special effort to wear a sleeveless muscle shirt that shows off his recently-inked Koi fish, a local UFC fan has panicked after realising he left his Monster Energy-themed flat brim hat at home.

“Fuck!” says the local peptide-user, Gareth (32).

“How did I fucking forget! I’m sitting here looking like an idiot without a flatty”

With the undercards and pre-match promotion looking like it’s about to wrap up soon, Gareth has had to duck back into his car and fang it home, potentially losing his good seat near the 120 inch LED television in the beer garden of the Betoota Heights Tavern, more colloquially known as the Heights Hilton – also known as the most violent licensed venue in interior Australia.

“Fuck” he says.

“Ok lets do a checklist”

“Tight muscle tee, check. Protein shaker to sit on the table in front of me, check.

“Wallet chain, che-”

“Oh fuck. I’ve really gotta go home”

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