Australia’s ex-half-decent-athletes-turned-half-decent-journalists are today kicking themselves, after being reminded that they wasted the ‘darkest day in sport’ title on a briefly hysterical drug scandal in 2013 that only ended up involving one NRL team and AFL team.

This comes ahead of the imminent resignation of Australian cricket coach Darren Lehmann who is set to part ways with the team before the fourth Test.

Lehmann has not spoken in the wake of the saga which has rocked Australian cricket and captain Steve Smith claims had no knowledge of the plans to alter the condition of the match ball during the third Test in Cape Town.

“Fuck” said one Fox Sports writer.

“That whole press conference was pretty over the top in hindsight. All we were able to do was ruin that blonde Maori kid from the Panthers career and somehow humanise the dodgy doctor behind it all”

“Like yeah, Essendon and Cronulla fucked up. But it’s not like anyone was being instructed to do this by their coach or captain. It’s just that no one knew what the fuck was going on”

“I’m pretty sure that Essendon coach kept his job, didn’t he?”

The nation’s sports journalists say they can’t believe they trotted out all the CEOs of all the major codes for such a gee up, when this whole sandpaper shit is way more dark.

A prominent Daily Telegraph sports journalist also spoke to our reporters about how they wasted such a good term.

“We thought each club was associated with a bikie chapter and were all engaging in illegal substance use. ASADA got trotted out a bit, but looking back I don’t even think that shit was half as bad as some of the domestic violence and drug headlines we had that year”

“Oh well. I guess we can go for ‘the darkest day in Australian cricket’ – but that’s about as good as we can come up with”


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