LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
In an attempt to get a good photo Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison attended an NRL game.
After being highly criticised around this time last year for ignoring social distancing by attending a Cronulla Sharks game, Mr Morrison decided to do so again, apparently deciding it would be a step up from ignoring workplace sexual assault and misconduct.
“We’ve got a fish fight tonight ladies and gentlemen!” laughed the Prime Minister at one of those Western Sydney stadiums.
“If your house has burnt down and flooded or you died of Covid make sure you watch this game to cheer up! Whooo! Footy!”
According to witnesses, Mr Morrison continued to chant “Footy!” several times before giggling while he opened a thermos of Great Northern he had smuggled in.
One thing Mr Morrison was not prepared for however, was the intervention from referee Adam Gee who paused play early to demand the Prime Minister be sent off for a head injury assessment (HIA).
“Mate, you’ve had a knock. Go and get it checked out,” stated Gee before resuming play.
“I’m not gonna ask you again.”
Initially mistaking the match official’s joke as ‘some of that friendly banter he’s heard about’ Scotty tried to get his own back by calling Gee “the real dumby half” before being led into the sheds for an HIA.
According to an NRL medical officer “[Mr Morrison] has obviously taken a serious knock to the head. I mean for fuck’s sake, I’ve seen blokes smash heads with Nelson Asofa-Solomona and say smarter shit than that.”
“Anyway, let’s begin the assessment.”
Mr Morrison was then put through the same line of questioning rugby league players face when sent to an HIA. He was unable to answer one of the 15 questions including ‘what stadium are we in?’, ‘who scored last’ and ‘what teams are playing?’
In response to the last question, Mr Morrison responded by saying: “Well I think you’re asking the wrong question there. It only came to my attention which two teams were playing late last night, I think it’s fair to say they are both great teams just giving it a go. What I will say to you are what two teams are playing in your house right now? I think let’s not throw stones on this one if you don’t know the teams either.”