Even though local outdoor furniture retailer, Ferg Stevensen (32) rarely get a run on with his beloved Dolphins 5th grade, he is what many describe as a shining beacon of club camaraderie.

The perennial benchwarmer is known not only for his indifferent attitude to training, club duties and paying his subs on time – but also, the high standard of club culture he looks to cultivate for the mighty Dolphins.

With the club now undergoing pre-season exhibition matches against friendly rivals from other comps, Ferg has once again outlined that he has a problem with the ‘younger fellas’.

“These colties, mate. They’ve got no respect for the club” he roars over a few jars of Betoota Bitter at the club’s sponsor hotel, the Rusty Coil Pack.

“They waltz in here with their schoolboy egos and apprentice wages and make an absolute mockery of the place”

The fact that Ferg’s 3-year-old daughter was seen sleeping in the pokie room at eleven o’clock last Saturday night is, in his opinion, a fair indicator of just how much he loves the club.

“Hardly any of these young fellas stick around for speeches. They are off to nightclubs before we’ve even done the boat race”

“That’s not what this club is about. It’s about the culture”

With a long list of complaints due to be aired at next week’s AGM, Ferg says if the colts don’t learn their place, the club could be in a whole lot of trouble.

“They get away with murder mate because there’s a couple of them that played for Queensland”

“I don’t care how good your boot is. In my opinion, if they don’t want to show respect for the older blokes then they can piss off and play somewhere else”

Ferg’s absence from last night’s beep test has been put down to a sore hamstring sustained while helping stack plastic chairs in the canteen after last week’s bonding session.




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