ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Wikileaks founder Julian Assange has reportedly asked numerous Londoners strolling passed the Ecuadorian embassy in Knightsbridge if they’d like to join him and diplomatic staff for a game of indoor cricket.

With his mood purportedly buoyed by Sweden’s decision to drop it’s rape and sexual assault investigation, an insider source revealed that Assange has started enjoying the smaller things in life again – including his penchant for the gentleman’s game.

“I miss getting a big bag of cans and heading down to the nets with the boys the most,” said Assange from an embassy side window.

“But yeah, I got a bit down at the start of the year but we had an important victory last week so we’re celebrating.”

The internet activist told The Advocate via Skype that he’s been working on his right-armers around the sofa, which he reckons has wreaked havoc among the Ecuadorian middle order.

Bragging about his handy 5-55 last Friday night, the 45-year-old barrel-chested Queenslander said he’s ready to take on a new outfit after working out each of the South American batsmen.

“Oi, mate,” leered Julian from the window.

“You wanna go get a box of piss and some Camels and come over for a bit of hit and giggle? Promise it’s chill. Maybe get some hooter for later, I want to listen to the new Radiohead.”

More to come.


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