Following the success of the 2017 Australian Open, Channel Seven has had to offer 1200 redundancies to remain afloat in the unforgiving Australian media landscape.

Several upsets in the world tennis rankings has resulted in just a little too much post-match celebrations for Channel Seven’s budget.

Controversial CEO Tim Worner says the tradition of signing the camera lens after winning a match is driving his network into the ground.

“Those things cost like 10k each. We’ve got people putting permanent marker on them after a first round match”

“We’ve had to offer 1200 redundancies in the magazines and news departments just to cover this shit”

With the sting of hosting the 2016 Olympics still fresh in their memory, Channel 7 is reportedly considering getting rid of all sports coverage completely.

“It just isn’t a money maker” said Worner.

“We’ve got probably 6-10 thousands Serbs and Ukrainians sitting at home watching ever match, everyone else is just watching the highlights of Kyrgios yelling at himself on Facebook”

“I think we might have to go heavy on the renovation and cooking shows this year”



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