ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Hamish Whistler, a nice South Betootanese man, has just turned up to a house party on Cresent Road without a box of beer under the promise of getting one – but he’d love one of yours in the interim.

The 29-year-old told our reporters that he’s got every intention of getting a carton for the game, it’s just that logistical and timing issues prevented him from getting one on the way.

“I just didn’t have the means to get one on the way here,” he said.

“But I’ll get one before the game. But I’ll get a niche carton, whereas I’ll know who’s stolen one of my beers. I’ll probably end up getting something like Carlton Mid or something that nobody else drinks,”

“That way, I’ll know if someone has stolen on eof my beers, so I can publically call them out and be a cunt about it [laughs] Dude, who steals beers from a mate?”

The Advocate was able to establish that Mr Whistler was barracking for the Storm this afternoon, something that failed to surprise our reporters.

More to come.


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