25 November, 2016. 12:02

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

RATHER THAN SPENDING THEIR weekend the traditional South Australian way – listening to Hilltop Hoods, stoned out of their mind on clonazepam, four Adelaide mates have tentatively bought tickets to Day Four and Five of the Third Test, thinking that there’s an off chance it might go the distance.

However, the current form of the Australian cricket team dictates that this is a foolhardy decision. But the prospect of inhaling a third pint before the first ball of the day has piqued their interest.

“By the dinner break, we expect to be speaking to each other in Greek,” said Dennis Coleman. “Fluently.”

The 31-year-old real estate agent says he and his three other mates have been budgeting for the day-night Test since winter time, explaining that they have long planned to write themselves off.

“Might have a tactical vom during the dinner break. I having some serious issues reading the scoreboard,” uttered Brett Rockman, Dennis’ mate from high school. “By the time the day’s play is over, I hope to be in one of those pissed cunt wheelchairs they have up at Schoolies.”

Echoing his mate’s sentiments, Henly Beach quantity surveyor Michael Elliot explained that should the Test match make it all the way to Day 5, he hopes to receive a life ban from the Adelaide Oval as he doesn’t enjoy AFL football or European-style football.

“Yeah brus, it’ll end in handcuffs this Test match, I can feel it way down in my plums. My big South Australian plums. If they cut me off on Monday afternoon, I’ll jump the bar and throttle the little shit who thinks ‘I’ve had too much alcohol’ to have any more.” he said.

This is a developing story.



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