ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

An overly polite and skittish local Gemini is this afternoon recovering in hospital after ingesting a tablespoon of cement powder.

The incident occurred at approximately 3 pm this afternoon shortly after Michael McLaughlin and his uncle David happened upon a traffic accident involving a Hyundai and a camel.

The Hyundai Excel was travelling east on Dewhurst Rd when it collided with a large camel, injuring a 45-year-old local man and the animal.

As emergency crews arrived, the 19-year-old and his uncle were rendering first aid to the man before letting paramedics and police take over.

However, when the police opted to destroy the injured beast on the roadside, Michael told his uncle he felt queasy after witnessing a police constable turn the camel’s head inside-out with his service revolver.

“Have a spoon of cement, you fucking sook,” said David to his nephew.

“It’s only a fucking camel, jumping Jai-rusalem! Fuck me, if your father saw you acting like this he’d flip out like a harpooned dolphin he would!”

“Go on, there’s a spoon in the glovebox and a bag of cement in the tray. Hook in!”

Tragically, Michael didn’t understand that his loutish uncle was being facetious and he did as instructed.

Moments later, the Betoota Polytechnic College student collapsed at the rear of his uncle’s vehicle, which was still at the roadside next to the now very dead camel.

Luckily, ambulances were already there and he was quickly taken to hospital where doctors expect the young man to make a full recovery.

More to come.


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