In sad news for endangered marine life, a number of Australian humpback dolphins are likely to perish next year thanks to some unnecessary plastic pollution.

The news comes as hopeful planet protector Amelia Hayes (28) decided it was time to update her current trusty Keep Cup with something a little less coffee stained, and buy herself a new one in the recent Black Friday sales.

A fuss bum when it comes to colour co-ordination, Amelia reportedly spent an entire week trying to find a cup in a super specific colour that seemed to be sold out everywhere in Australia.

As such, Amelia couldn’t help but purchase from ASS-OS, a UK based fast fashion house that has just as much plastic in its garments as its packaging.

Now unwrapping her fresh delivery, which had been transported via three planes, four trucks and at least one freight tanker, Amelia was sad to see the vessel was shrink wrapped in enough plastic to host a slip n’ slide.

“God damnit, I’m going to need some scissors” Amelia whispered under her breath, as she tried to pry the cup free from four layers of bubble wrap.

“What’s the point of getting a reusable cup when they send it like this?”.

Aghast that’s she’s probably done the environment more harm than good simply by ordering one from overseas rather than just supporting her neighbourhood coffee shop, Amelia told our reporter she was considering paying a guilt tax to a enviro charity.

“What a waste, I don’t even really like the colour now. They do free returns tho, I wonder if I donate $10 to an ocean charity if that it’ll even this whole ordeal out.”

More to come.


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