ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

As the night was coming to a close at the Dolphins Leagues Club in South Betoota, two toey humans decided the night wasn’t over for them – they had to keep drinking.

As the popular nightspot is quite isolated, Larry Pidgeon and Brett Frog decided to call an Uber.

Except Larry, a 24-year-old local diesel fitter, was in possession of a flat phone. Meaning he couldn’t split the fare or contribute and monies toward the trip.

He turned to Brett and said he’d transfer him half the cost but both of them knew he was lying.

Ignoring the time-honoured tradition of simply buying the man a drink upon arriving at their next destination, which turned out to be the iconic DNA Bin Nightclub in the French Quarter, Brett explained that he’d rather just send him the money.

“It’s easier if everyone gets their own drinks, that way you can monitor your alcohol intake much better,” said lying Frog.

“I’m going to transfer Larry the money in the money when my phone’s charged. It’s not convenient but neither if life sometimes.”

According to Pidgeon, this isn’t the first time Brett has tried to pull a fast one on him.

Though it’s debatable, Larry reckons Brett’s phone is always flat when it comes to riding in an Uber.

“Cunt thinks I’m stupid,” he said, well within earshot of our reporter’s young daughter.

“He won’t transfer me anything – and if he does, the description will be very inappropriate. When I applied to get a mortgage two years ago, Brett transferred me money for ‘ketamine’ and my bank manager looked at me like I was a common junkie,”

“Anyway, last night was fun. Vomited on the bus to work this morning. Right now this man’s back. Sometimes life is inconvenient.”

More to come.



Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here