16 February, 2016. 16:34

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

In what’s being hailed as a discovery of a lifetime, a 17-year-old local boy has stumbled across an old pre-plain packaged deck of lung busters – something completely out of his world.

St Gregory’s South Betoota student Oisin Breathnach revealed to The Advocate that at first, he didn’t know what he was looking at. But upon asking his father what they were, it immediately became clear that it was something significant.

“Dad said, ‘Where the fuck did you find these?’ and I was all like, ‘They were in a biscuit tin in the pump shed, up in the rafters,’ then he was like, ‘Fuuuuuuuccckkkk I remember!’ I hadn’t seen him that happy for ages,” said the peer support leader.

“Then we went out on the deck and Dad asked me if I wanted to join him in enjoying some pre-Nicola Roxon one-lady-crusade lung candy and of course I said yes. They were a bit stale and red durries give me serious head spins but they were nice.”

Adding to the rarity of the find, the deck uncovered was a soft pack. Something unseen in this country since the introduction of plain packaging legislation in 2012.

Marketed to children and young adults as being their ‘International Passport to Smoking Pleasure’, the Peter Stuyvesant were often reserved for special occasions – such as birthdays, christenings and post-coital cooldowns.

“I used to suck my way through a soft packet of these bastards a day when I was his age,” remarked Oisin’s father, Conor.

“Only the best tar for my lungs! [laughs] [coughs] Yeah but, that was many moons ago and I gave that shit up when I had me boy. Still miss it, though.”

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here