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A local bad ass teenager who’s disengaged parents don’t mind him rocking a diamante ear ring has today discovered that he is gay, after getting his right ear pierced accidentally.

Lyndall Bowley (16) was quick to learn that he is now a gay man – after he arrived at school with the ‘gay ear” pierced.

It is not yet known if Lyndall was always gay or if he experienced an immediate gayformation while he was in the tattoo parlour yesterday – but one thing that is for sure, according to his mates, is that he doesn’t like girls anymore.

The concept of the ‘gay ear’ became heavily prominent in suburban America and Australia in the 1980s. While gay people do often have pierced ears, the concept of identifying yourself as a homosexual through piercings is believed to be mostly straight male paranoia rather than anything arising out of the actual LGBTI community.

However, in the school yard today at South Betoota High, this theory is as good as gospel.

While this news has changed a lot of things for the former heterosexual pretty boy who had actually previously enjoyed pashing chicks, he says he is lucky that in 2018 the idea of homosexuality is no longer something kids can be picked on over.

While Lyndall doesn’t yet know any of the cultural nuances of gay life as a teenager, he says he looks to forward to having a lot more female friends.

“I mean, I could just pierce the other ear and go back to being straight” he says.

“Or take it out and let it heal over. But everyone was so convincing in telling me that I am now gay due to the fact that I have accidentally gotten the wrong ear pierced”

“I’m gay now I guess”

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