With Dire Straits playing in the background, dad is already in the kitchen whipping up his favourite meal. Beef stroganoff.

These reports come just minutes after mum pulled out of the driveway blowing kisses, before heading off to spend the weekend with her sisters down the coast.

While, dad doesn’t view necessarily his suspiciously chirpy behaviour as a form of microcheating, he does acknowledge that it is very naughty.

Due to the traditional Australian cuisine’s high carb, high cream and low vegetable count – the old boy isn’t allowed to eat this shit that often. So he’s quick to jump on it.

Given the time is just after midday, it is not clear when dad actually plans on eating this meal. By the time it’s finished, it could either be a late lunch or an early dinner – or what is most likely, a grazing trough that sits on the stovetop for him to keep returning to for the duration of the weekend.

“Don’t tell your mother he says”

“She knows I’m gonna get my strog on… But I’m making a fair bit here”

“If she does ask, tell her I boiled up some honey carrot to go with it”


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