ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A local ABC producer has thrown common sense and caution to the wind this afternoon by treating himself to a new pair of ‘snazzy’ joggers and some jeans that one could pitch a tent with.

Oscar Cleary, who shot to local fame in 2011 after having his new Nike TN sneakers ripped from his feet by some hoods in a brazen broad daylight attack at a Betoota Heights petrol station, paid a visit to Remienko Memorial Shopping Plaza this afternoon to handpick a new below-the-belly-button outfit.

He said the biggest problem was choosing the right colour trainer.

“I wanted one that wasn’t going to blind you and one that wasn’t blue enough to blend in with the jeans, that’d look pretty stupid,” he said.

“So I ended up going with a pair of jet-black Clarks that the nice man at the shop said I could use for the gym and jogging if I wanted. That means I only really need one pair of shoes! [laughs] Seriously, though. Good value,”

“The jeans are also about six sizes too big for my ass. I could fit two 1kg bags of chicken wings down the back of them at Woolies, which I’ve been known to do. Yum yum apple plum, get in my tum! [laughs] Only kids pay for their chicken wings. Anyway, I’ve got to get back to work.”

The 34-year-old mingling single French Quarter resident produces the popular ‘Afternoons with Peter Heroin‘ on ABC Channel Country which is known for its hard rock and thumping metal playlists.

Peter is well-known locally for being found slumped over the steering wheel of his early-model Toyota Corona in 2011 after coming down with a ‘mystery illness’ while at work – that was later found to be ‘heroin’.

Coupled with long hours on his feet actually doing something in return for our taxpayer dollars, Oscar says his choice in footwear is important and critical for his job performance.

That and the dry desert heat makes ‘looking fashionable’ a second thought.

“I’ve gone the white New Balance and blue jean combo in the past and received negative reviews. Even from perfect strangers. They stop me on the street and ask what’s wrong with me,”

“But ker-serah serah [sic] Whatever. They’ll be laughing when I’m retired at 65 wearing the exact same thing!”

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here