World News

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In a developing story from the Democratic People's Republic of Western Australia, the state's parliament has fallen. Residents of the state and its neighbouring country of Australia are watching on in shock today, as the DPRWA's military storm the capital. The military has reportedly stormed the state's parliament, seizing on the power vacuum that was created by the...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The nation of Australia has this week been given an eye-opening piece of information. We have learnt that not talking shit about your biggest trade partner is actually quite good for business - particularly if your economy relies heavily upon exporting things like resources, and importing things like students and tourists. The revelation comes as China revealed it...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT JUST COMING OFF THE M1: Prime Minister Albanese has been reportedly dogged quite severely overnight, after inviting one of the older boys to his carefully curated house party. In reports out of Washington DC, it seems that President Joe Biden has cancelled a visit to Australia, the second leg of his upcoming Asia trip. Biden's visit was expected to...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Australian footballing community is buzzing today, after news broke about a huge international signing. Melbourne City has confirmed that one of their players has broken the A-League Mens transfer record after being bought by a Belgian Club. Young sensation Jordan Bos has confirmed a move to Belgian Pro League after he was bought by European powerhouses KVC...

RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact The sprawling government apparatus that administers the day to day livelihoods of all 38 million Canadians has just recorded its most efficient and effective week of operations since the Country was first established in 1867. The smooth governance comes after 155,000 public servants went on strike to demand the usual shit like more money, better pay, higher fiscal return...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some breaking news from the Thai city of Chiang Mai today, it has been confirmed that a local tourist attraction has more life in it than an entire NRL club. A local veterinary expert has confirmed to The Advocate that a tiger drugged within an inch of its life has more bite in it that 17 professional...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT This month marks 20 years since hip hop music first left the United States Of America, as Kiwis right around the world remember the release of the double platinum certified New Zealand rap single 'Not Many' by Christchurch rapper Scribe, from his iconic 2003 album 'The Crusader'. The momentous milestone in both Southern Hemisphere hip hop, and more...

MARIO STRADLATER | Local | Contact One of the prototypical characteristics of the fuckboy is to lie, cheat and steal your way into the physical and emotional breast of your consort. And it turns out you can indeed teach an old dog new tricks, as Roo ‘Fuckboy’ Murdoch pulled off one of the all-time fuckboy moves with a subtle ‘Hmm totally’ between bites of...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT COMMENT Has the greatest day on the Royal Calendar already been ruined, weeks before it even arrived? Unfortunately, the answer is probably yes - unless you are a sensitive left wing snowflake who thinks whinging attention hungry millennials haven't ruined the great institution of the Royal family. Why may you ask? Well, surprise surprise, Meghan Markle, has done it...

RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact Art imitates life according to Paramount Pictures executive, Jerry Levinwitz (43). Levinwitz made the comment this morning during the Studio’s surprise announcement that they have rushed to greenlight production of ‘The Big Short 2’, with shooting to commence effective immediately. Levinwitz told the Advocate that as multiple elite banking giants crumble into Lehman Brothers-styled heaps, it’s taken the Studio by...