Politics

LOUIS BURKE | Editor | CONTACT The Parliament of Australia was thrown into utter chaos this week as single-issue senator Derryn Hinch awoke from his slumber and shocked everyone by doing something reasonable. Following the announcement of his plans to cut funding to private schools that discriminate against gay students, many senators were horrified to learn they agreed with him causing Penny Wong to vomit...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Federal Environment Minister Melissa Price has put some of her extensive scientific knowledge to good use today by calling bullshit on the recent report released by the United Nations' Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC). The report claims that world greenhouse gas emissions must reach zero by 2050 if we are to ensure that Global Warming is halted at 1.5 degrees....

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Special Envoy to Indigenous Affairs has today taken an unorthodox route towards swaying voters, after hosting an in-store signing and merch pop-up event in the Warringah Culture Kings store. The Former Prime Minister has reportedly become a repeat customer at the iconic Australian streetwear franchise, after his new Tongan-Australian girlfriend took him there to pick up some Chicago...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minister Morrison has experienced the horrid feeling of his soul being consumed upon, after shaking hands with a gliding, wraith-like dark creature once employed by the Australian Ministry of Immigration as the guard of Nauru Prison. The Minister, who originates from the Division of Dickson, was in the role of Dementor for the Ministry of Immigration from 21 December 2014...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT "Yeah, so last year they thought he was gonna be injured, but it turns out he was alright to play," said Kel (26). That was pretty much all he needed to say, but after observing the refreshing look of interest in his girlfriend's eyes, Kel decided to run her through his entire career. Starting from his early years playing...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "Fuck Collingwood!" he said to unsurprisingly low fanfare. The Opposition Leader opened his press conference in Melbourne this morning with a bang, donning a West Coast Eagles beanie while he weighed into the political bin fire that is the ABC currently. "Did you see the fucking front page of the fucking Herald Sun and the fucking...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Two of the nation's most prominent journalists have put their differences aside today in a touching display of unity against embattled ABC chairman Justin Milne. Earlier today, a number of leaked emails were published by the failing newspaper branch of Nine Entertainment Co, Fairfax Media, that detailed Mr Milne's attempts to have the ABC's chief...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Former Prime Minister Uncle Tony X has today admitted to having a few secret vices when it comes to mission cuisine, after revealing he's managed to get a local Canberra cafe to add devon and chip sandwiches to the menu. Uncle Tony says he's well aware that he might not be setting a very good example, especially when...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Singer-songwriter Kev Carmody has penned a protest song this week calling for the release of Uncle Tony X - the Prime Minister's special envoy on Indigenous Affairs. Last weekend, the prominent Northern Beaches elder was thrown in gaol after failing to get a taxi home after the South Sydney Rabbitohs historic win against the St George...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT With Parliament breaking again for another month, Pauline Hanson tried her hardest today to grab a few headlines. The former fish and chip operator from Ipswich put forward a motion in the Senate today, to try and alleviate the suffering of the nation's Caucasians. The motion asked the Senate to acknowledge: The deplorable rise of anti-white racism and attacks on...