Politics

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT High-ranking cabinet ministers from within the Australian Liberal Party have today praised the fossil fuel industry and their many lobbyist donors for the cute little reno they provided for the Pacific nation of the Solomon Islands, after grounded cargo ship resulted in an irreversible oil spill in a World Heritage-listed marine sanctuary. At least 75 tonnes of heavy...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact There was a certain dread in the air at Parliament House today after the majority of its constituents had to relinquish their dominance for the next few hours. Not wanting to create another media shit-storm, The Nightwatchman got on the front foot and made a thoughtful gesture to one of the only women left on his side of...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact The Nightwatchman has lifted spirits in the Liberal Party room today with a spirited rendition of a particular song. The Prime Minister did so this morning after being greeted by a fairly glum group of upper and upper-middle class white males as he walked in. After a horror few months for Scott Morrison and his conservative party, the...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact Media advisor to Prime Minister Scott Morrison has made a harsh call today and has informed the nation’s leader that a visit to the Sydney Mardis Gras is probably off the cards. Towing the line that he is for all Australians, the PM’s media team concedes a Mardis Gras appearance from Morrison would at this point would be a...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact The Opposition Leader, and nation's number one Big Bang Theory fan Bill Shorten has today asked his staffers if he could please stretch his legs. The leader of the Labor party, who has spent the last 8 days since Parliament wrapped up in isolation, pleaded with his PR team to let him outside to play for a little...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact The Home Affairs Minister has made the call today. After a horror few months, and with conservatives reeling after the most senior figure in the Catholic Church is now a convicted paedophile, Dutton decided today was the day Border Force let a boat through. After his party tirelessly worked to avoid a royal commision into institutional sexual abuse,...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT As the country embraces for the upcoming federal election, several media outlets have made the embarrassing blunder of mistaking the male heavy Liberal party candidate list for an Australian festival line up. With women making up 21 of the Coalition’s 96 sitting team members and candidates with names like Ian Goodenough and Zed Seselja, and notable female...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Former Minister For Foreign affairs and perennially overlooked Liberal Party stalwart, Julie Bishop has today been found safe after a very close call in South-West Tasmania's Gordon River. Bishop, the third-option in last year's chaotic Lib-Spill that almost certainly spelled the death of the Coalition Government, was spotted delicately paddling to shore after diving off an out of control...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Members of Australia's Parliament have been urged to be on high alert this week in the wake of a recent cyber attack that the Prime Minister doesn't seem to give a fuck about. The cyber attack was reported a few days ago, and the nation's cyber security agencies believe was orchestrated by a foreign government, has lead to tightened...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Federal Labor Member Tony Burke has dropped a bombshell on the Australian basketball fraternity today, announcing his resignation as coach of the Sydney Kings. The MP who played 20 seasons for the Melbourne Tigers and won the NBL's MVP Honour 7 times, told The Advocate exclusively this afternoon that he would be stepping down from his coaching role to...