Breaking News

IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports Editor | Contact A relatively well-built young man with questionable fashion sense has made his way down from the Central West of New South Wales to the beating heart of Sydney this week in anticipation of a weekend of sport. On Friday night, David Brown of Manildra fame will be heading to the new stadium in Moore...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT Phones have been running hot across hair salons in the Diamantina this week, as local netball Mums scramble to book in a new hair appointment. The mad rush comes after the Queen of Chardonnay Pop, P!nk, has announced that she will be returning to Australian shores in early 2024 with her much anticipated “Summer Carnival” tour. Playing a...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact One of the nation's greatest drought minds has weighed into the ongoing crisis in Venice that's seen the city's iconic canals dry up due to a lack of snowmelt and rainfall. The unsinkable Barnaby Joyce told Sydney radio this morning that people shouldn't be too quick to blame the Italian cotton industry. "Just because the rivers...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A crisp G♯5 tone could be heard across Rivendell Street in Betoota Heights this morning prompting some locals to ask the Facebook community page if anyone else was hearing the strange noise. What they heard wasn't artificial, it was beaming from the throat of Miles Doherty. The 29-year-old had just blasted his pinkie toe on...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Some silly old fuck from Betoota Heights that walks around town with his shirt tucked into his Gazman shorts, leaving a fleshy apron of gut hanging over his creaking braided belt, reckons our woes in India will be solved when Pat Cummins resigns and former coach Justin Langer comes back to whip some arse. After...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The unsinkable Barnaby Joyce is coming into bat for Australians who want access to their money so they can buy things they need now like new cars, cryptocurrency, property and ice cold schooners of Tooheys New. As the pandemic comes to an end for healthy young people, the Federal Government is looking to close the...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has caused quite a stir today, after revealing his outfit for Mardi Gras. This comes as the WorldPride Festival kicking off in his home town of Sydney, with over half a million people set to descend about the Harbour City over the course of the festivities. Praised for turning up to last years...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Brother of Steve and Test great Mark Waugh is going to wind back the clock next week and show the struggling Australian batsmen how to get the job done. After yet another dreadful batting performance, the Australian men's cricket team is looking for inspiration and a bit of subcontinental know-how as they scramble to save...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact In the quiet suburb of Betoota Heights, a senior resident of the local retirement village has had enough of his son's disrespectful and insensitive language. For months now, the man's son has been referring to the retirement village as a "Boomer Gulag", much to the annoyance of the senior residents who call the place...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIt’s a sad day for our brothers and sisters in Brisbane today, as it can be officially confirmed that beloved pub ‘The Victory Hotel’, will be shutting down after a whopping 168 years of operation. Having survived multiple fires, a pandemic and what can be assumed is approximately 3000 gigatons of human waste over the years  ,it appears the...