Carlton Blues Cruise Into Finals To Cement Premiership Favouritism
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The AFL is today in crisis management, as the league prepares for the most lopsided finals in the game's history.
With the finals...
Sydney Stockpiles Sand Bags And Hunkers Down In Preparation For A Potential Doggies Top 4 Finish
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT
Much of Sydney has been seen stockpiling sandbags, bottled water and generators, in preparation for what could be the Bulldogs first top 4...
8 Point Win Over Manly On A Thursday Night Equivalent To Premiership Victory For Tigers Fans
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The Wests Tigers are on top of the world, it can be confirmed this morning.
Friday mornings haven't looked this good for merger...
First-Year Uni Student Finally Finds A New Easy Drinking Craft Lager He’s Never Heard Of
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A student from Betoota Heights has struck gold today.
The stroke of luck came as the man named Hayze Timms meandered his way through...
“Fuck, Can’t We Just Dig Something Out Of The Ground” Says Australia, Staring Down Barrel Of Recession
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The geniuses in charge of our economy and political system are today coming to terms with quite a grim situation.
Despite being in...
Local Teacher Gives Up On Trying To Explain That The Matildas Aren’t Really A Book Week Theme
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A Betoota Heights Public (BHP) teacher has today thrown in the towel, it can be confirmed.
Sophie Willet said she's given up trying...
Local Dad Reckons The Sheilahs Said He Was An Immortal Ronnie Coote Back Before He Met Mum
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A local dad has offered some very much unwanted information to his adult children today.
Taking to the family group chat, old Darren...
“Haha It’s Fine, It’s Not A Competition” Says Book Week Mum That’s Gone All Out Every Single Day
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A Betoota Heights mum has today kindly offered up some words of support to one of her acquaintances.
Rolling in for the afternoon...
Gambling Lobby Threatens To Cut Off The ALP’s Punt Club If They Even Think About Reform
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The big wigs in the Labor party are today coming to terms with a hectic ultimatum.
Make a difference to the society they...
