Albo Tells AUKUS That There Were No Fancy Nuclear Submarines Where He Grew Up, In Camperdown Public Housing, Where They Only Had Shitty Diesel-Electrics
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has taken a trip across the Pacific Ocean to address the United States naval top brass on the controversial issue of Australia's recent acquisition of nuclear submarines.
Despite being a self-proclaimed "man of the people," Albo seemed to be singing a different tune during his speech to the Americans.
"I want to...
Pop Feeling Relevant After Figuring Out Tim Tszyu Is The Son Of Kostya Who You Might Not Remember
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Australian boxing now has it's very own Mayweather Family, as the prodigal son Tim Tszyu emerges as the interim WBO super welterweight world champion - in a hometown victory that comes 28 years after his father Kostya knocked out Jake Rodriguez at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas.
Tim was only two months old when his old man captured...
GWS’ #1 Draft Pick Excited To Play Through Mandated 2-Year Contract Before Trading To Bigger, Better Club For More $$
JASON BARRY | Victorian Leg Tennis | Contact
Victorian key forward Ethan Wilson has officially became the nation’s top young AFL talent after he was selected as pick #1 in the 2023 AFL draft by the GWS Giants.
In what was a complex, mega trade deal between multiple AFL clubs, the Giants are beyond happy to have the elite young player join their ranks.
“We’ve struggled...
Project Home Michelangelo Gently Maintains His 34 Square Metre Sistine Chapel
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
With a Flexi Friday at his mercy, Betoota Heights man Aaron Shoop has spent the morning adding some touches to his greatest artwork.
"This is my sistine chapel," explained the young father of two while crouching down and running his fingers over the perfectly cut 42 millimetre grass that makes up his lawn.
"Isn't it a thing of...
NIMBY Richmond Shitebags Want Drug Users To Die In The Park Like The Good Old Days
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A pair of Kooyong downsizers that moved into Richmond a few years ago are appalled at the Victorian Government's decision to make the Richmond Injecting Room a permanent fixture of the trendy inner-city suburb.
Greg and Regina Greenslope told The Advocate that they are disappointed with the decision mainly because it brings people to Richmond...
Coles Update Their Slogan To More Accurately Reflect Their Business
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
One of nation's supermarket duopoly have made a big media splash today, by revealing a huge marketing change.
Famous for lying about selling affordable groceries to the nation, Coles have flipped their 'Down Down' marketing campaign on its head.
"We've decided to just cut the shit," laughed the head of marketing at the supermarket giant.
"To reflect inflation...
Ex-Hillsonger Still Has Some Serious Pipes
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A local woman who grew up in hedge fund-turned-megachurch Hillsong is still able to absolutely belt one out when she wants after spending her childhood and adolescence honing the craft.
Sources close to Kelly Johnson report that the decision to leave the megachurch was a difficult one, as she had been a devoted member for...
“I’m Living The Australian Dream” Says Man Grilling Fish With Electric BBQ On Balcony Of His Dogbox Apartment
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
In a heartwarming story of perseverance and ingenuity, a man living his Meriton dogbox has revealed how he has found joy in using his electric barbecue to cook fish on his balcony.
Speaking to reporters from his crudely-built apartment in the French Quarter, 36-year-old Mark Smithers explained how he had always dreamt of having his...
Hard-Working Young Couple That Did Everything Right Now In Negative Equity And Nearly Broke
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A Betoota Heights couple that sacrificed and saved to buy their first home in our town's aspirational suburbs are now about to "do their collective arse" as interest rates are set to jump tomorrow.
They bought during the pandemic housing frenzy because Doug and Nadine Cartwright thought it'd be their last opportunity to do so...
Advice Column | Why This Bitcoin Rally Is Different And Guaranteed To Make You A Quick Million Bucks
DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACT
This time it’s different. This time the rally is going all the way to the moon and we’re all gunna make a quick million bucks.
Over the last few years, with each revelation of how the world of cryptocurrency has become a crime infested pyramid scheme full of ruthless con artists, some critics have said...
