Severely Inland RSL Still Insisting With Fisherman’s Basket
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
A severely inland RSL is doing its bit to bring the Australian Riviera to the outback by insisting on selling the same fisherman’s basket they’ve been slinging since 1971.
According to rolling papers with little facts on the packet, 80% of Australians live less than an hour from the sea, ideal conditions for a nation of seafood lovers.
However, 20%...
Government Asks PWC To Conduct An Audit Of Government’s Relationship With PWC
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The Federal Government has today moved to deal with the fallout from the PWC scandal.
Facing allegations of abuses of power and misuse of confidential information stemming from the relationships between consultancy firms and the government, the powers at be have called for an audit.
"We have asked PWC to conduct an audit into whether it was appropriate...
“It’s Not Coming Off,” Albo Says To His Chief-Of-Staff After Modi Visit
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The Prime Minister has learned a lesson this morning that many people learn much earlier in life.
Anthony Albanese spent close to a minute washing a henna tattoo given to him by Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi before the sinking feeling in his stomach prompted him to speak.
"It's not coming off," he said to...
Naarm Settler All For Taxing Big Business But Did Dan Have To Come After Her Rich Architect Parents Like That?
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A Melbourne woman has told The Advocate this morning that she is glad the government is finally making big businesses pay more tax but wonders why they decided to come after hard-working people like her parents who happen to own multiple properties around town.
Premier of the Democratic People's Republic of Victoria, Dan Andrews, announced...
International Student Arrives At First Lecture To Find His Professor Is A Racist Horse Named George That Can Barely Speak English
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
An international student from India has expressed his shock to The Advocate today that one of his lecturers is a horse that can barely read and write, leaving him wondering if coming here is even worth it.
Harpreet Sharma asked two other students in the lecture theater if he was in the right place. He...
Darryl “The Big Marn” Brohman Named As New Host Of Q+A
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
ABC journalist and host of the flagship current affairs show Q+A, Stan Grant, has resigned from the organization this week after receiving almost non-stop racial abuse since taking the job in 2021. The sustained and repeated abuse Stan received was endured without support from any member of the ABC executive, a blight on...
AFL To Commence Fucking Up Investigation Of How They Fucked Up Investigation Of Hawthorn Racism
JASON BARRY | Victorian Leg Tennis | Contact
“We fucked up,” was the understated phrase that came from AFL CEO Gillon McLachlan as he fronted a media scrimmage on the Code’s independent investigation into bombshell claims of racism at Hawthorn.
“I mean it’s a real fuck up, even by our standards,” the stunning brunette conceded, making reference to any situation that includes the words ‘AFL’...
NSW Police Send Riot Squad Into Aged Care Facility After Reports Of A Rowdy Craft Afternoon
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
An aged care facility in the NSW region of Lennoxtown is currently under a serious lockdown.
The code 3 emergency at the 104 bed facility follows reports that a number of residents managed to get their hands on some dangerous weapons.
The need for drastic action reportedly became necessary after an arts and craft session got out of...
NSW Police Add Walking Frames To List Of Schedule 1 Prohibited Weapons
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactAfter a tumultuous few days of dealing with the aftermath of the nursing home attack, the NSW police have since announced that they will be adding walking frames to their list of Schedule 1 prohibited weapons to ensure this kind of violent attack can ‘never occur again.’
The severely overworked publicist for NSW Police, Kelly Masterson, said that this...
“Nobody Wants To Work Anymore” Says Local Business Owner That Doesn’t Want To Work, Either
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A French Quarter small bar owner has said times are tough at the moment because he can't find enough staff to work for him, forcing him to suffer the utter humiliation of working in a customer-facing role in his own business.
The Back Slap Inn licensee and owner Conor Smooth-Gooch told The Advocate that he...
