“I Can’t Believe They Used To Put Arsenic In Lipstick” Says Woman Whose Facial Scrub Is Full Of Microplastics
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
A woman who recently went down a rabbit hole about the insane Victorian-era beauty regimes is blissfully unaware that her skincare products have...
American Streamer’s Visit To NZ Now The Biggest Thing To Happen There Since That Nek Minnit Guy
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT
A teenager from America has blessed the land of the long white cloud with one of the biggest internet celebrity events the small...
PM Should Worry About His Own Generation Of Social Media Users Who Give Their Life Savings To Fictional Foreign Women
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
A spokesperson for the nation's teenagers has today asked the Prime Minister to have a look in his own backyard.
Jaylyn Talbot (15)...
Social Media Age Limits To Be Enforced Using The Same Very Successful System As Pornhub
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
As debate rages on about the merits of stopping kids from accessing mind altering content that distorts their entire perspective on the world,...
NBL Reach Out To The Rizzler In Desperate Attempt To Keep Pace With Nation’s Other Sporting Codes
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
As competition increases for the nation's ever-shortening attention span, the National Basketball League is pulling out the big guns.
Following a big 24...
Journalist Writing 12th Only Fans Article For Week Finds Self Praying For Return Of MAFS
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
A local journalist at the Betoota Bugle has today found herself in a peculiar situation.
Stacey Jones (28) says she's actually found herself...
“Geez Those Stanley Cups Aren’t Cheap” Says Boyfriend Reusing Same Crusty Microplastic-Shedding Plastic Bottle Since 2019
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
A harmless local jar-opener has today made it clear that he doesn’t think buying a portable water container that can be reused an...
Report: We May Never Win Again
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
Wallabies fans around the country are today coming to terms with a rather daunting prospect.
After reaching the highest of highs, fans of...
Winner Winner Beef Dinner: Potential Son In Law Nails The Debut By Turning Up To Dinner With A Couple Rump Steaks
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A young prince has today proven his credentials to his potential suitor’s family.
Phillip Hard (29) from our town’s Betoota Heights District did so...
Retro Shirt And Baggy Jeans Wearing Gen Z Goes All In On Nostalgia Era By Drinking Fosters
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
As the waves of nostalgia continue to wash over the nation, a man from our very own Betoota Heights has gone all in...
