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LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT The pettiest form of justice is in action as a lucky bugger on a long and Instagram friendly overseas trip is at least getting fat. Enjoying plates of foie gras in a 2 Minute Noodles economy, relapsing hedonist Ned Baker (31) has been constantly updating his Instagram page to share all the mental places he has been sinking piss...

STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACT As the dust settled from the weekend that was, local woo girls brace themselves for Tuesday's impending "Debt Settling" group text, a sobering reality of the money they’re all owing.  As has become customary amongst the group, brief respite is afforded on Monday while serotonin levels are at an all time low, before Tuesdays comms where these social...

RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact One of the 20 barristers working on the most expensive family feud in the nation's history has reminded the Advocate that while our beloved Gina Rinehart was born into a wealthy mining dynasty, so were her enemies, and they’re mean-spirited vultures out to get her. Barrister Gregorious Quilley, SC, is, of course, referring to the suspect woman called Angela...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A teeny, tiny violin is playing in the eastern suburbs of Sydney this evening as a local Bondi man suffers the winter from hell. Unable to jet out of the country for his yearly trip to Italy, Sebastian Huberts (34) is having one of the worst July periods on record due to being starved of the chance...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT A local woman's brain was last night pleading with herself  to do the right thing. With the clock ticking past midnight, Bree Lars found herself somehow down a TikTok wormhole watching a Balkan man make incredible looking dishes that she will never ever attempt, or eat. "The pig's head dish was flat out cooked," laughed the tired young lady slumped...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A group of toddlers have received a timely education in coarse language this afternoon after being witness to a division 5 suburban Rugby League clash. Enjoying an afternoon on the sparkling new council-funded playground adjacent to Wally Lewis Memorial oval, The Advocate can report the group of children will be going home asking their parents what the...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A Betoota man has paid overs for dessert in Brisbane this week after experiencing a food trend that’s decided to become cool again after a 5-year hiatus. Having travelled to BrisVegas to take his daughter to some Women's World Cup match ups at Suncorp, local Dad Terry Kennedy (46) spent the weekend enjoying some family time and...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT In music news this week, a chart topping country music star is eyeing off a Nobel Prize in Literature after penning a provocative tribute to his hometown. Hailing from Franklin, Tennessee, Luke Wallen-Byran (34) is the latest big name in the country music scene who’s been killing it with his debut album, ‘The Way We Ride Round...

HARVEY THOMAS | Outrage | CONTACT One thing that never ceases to amaze me about women is how much they can whinge and complain for absolutely $0. Do you really think a wage gap would actually exist if professional angry opinions weren't such a male dominated industry? Well as someone who asks provocative questions like that, for an amount that would make you ashamed...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT In news no one wanted to hear this morning, Irish singer and activist Sinéad O'Connor has passed away. Aged 56, the cause of the icon's death has not been made public, with family, friends and the world mourning her passing. Irish President Michael D Higgins was amongst those to pay tribute, praising Sinead for her authenticity and her...