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WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A husky and witty local gent has today indulged the internet in another one of his trademark zingers. Brad Walsh from Sydney's well heeled Eastern Suburbs of Sydney has taken to his Facebook account to leave a short but concise comment about the financial state of Women's Football. "Please, when the women actually generate some revenue, then...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Lizzo saga has taken another twist today, with one of her dancer's airing some fresh allegations. One of her dancer's who claims she was fired for gaining weight, has exclusively revealed to The Advocate that she was forced to go on the ManShake Diet when she was on tour. Made popular by former Newcastle Knights player Adam...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A young man from Betoota Ponds is today dreaming about his future. The 15-year-old Betoota Ponds High Student explained to our humble regional newspaper that he's feeling optimistic about what lies ahead. The son of a nurse at Royal Betoota Base Hospital and a forklift driver at South Betoota Logistics, Brendon Thomas says he can't wait to get...

HARVEY THOMAS | Outrage | CONTACT For goodness, Christ’s and fuck’s collective sake, haven’t we all had a bloated bellyfull of generational discourse, or should I say ‘diss-course’ because of ‘course’ we keep ‘dissing’ each other*.   Once upon a time, we were all equal. Then for better or worse, the ‘60s happened. After that, it was all about generations thanks to my second most hated...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Australian Government has today made it clear that they would rather run the risk of calling another election rather than address the concerns of young working Australians with an alternative Housing Bill. While hiding behind the media noise surrounding the Indigenous Voice Referendum, the Labor MPs tasked with ensuring Australians are afforded the human right of warm shelter...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT In breaking news, Christmas is looking particularly grim for a Betoota Lakes man who failed to get himself a decent tax return. Dillon Humphrey, a freelance musician from the lakes district, has spoken to The Advocate today about his financial woes and his fumbled tax return. As a muso and audio engineer, Dillon has the opportunity to claim...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Australia has retained The Ashes. Despite a solid 6 weeks of Bazlighting and carry on from the United Sookdom, Australia is keeping its mitts on the Urn. This comes despite a Day 5 loss in the final Ashes Test overnight. With Australia needing to chase down a mammoth 384, openers Usman Khawaja and David Warner had laid an...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Australian cricket fans have taken off their collective gloves and absolutely gone in on professional sook Piers Morgan, now that Warnie is no longer there to say ‘nah guys he’s actually chill but’. Just like bloated geese will sometimes make friends with the foie gras farmer that keeps force feeding them tons of grain, Australian cricket legend Shane Warne...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The people in charge of tonight's Matilda's fixture have today made some last minute changes to ensure the event runs smoothly. With the do or die clash against Canada just hours away, the people in charge of the stadium have decided to hire some more security. This comes as Melbourne's Rectangular Stadium (aka the one they don't play...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The English Cricket team have today moved to clarify a confusing facet of the game. Speaking to media after the conclusion of the fourth day's play in the final Ashes Test, Captain Ben Stokes explained that whining to the umpire after every single over is completely valid. "If you look up the Spirit Of Cricket rulebook, you'll see...