ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Australians are breathing easier today after the Reserve Bank put an end to the successive interest rate hikes that have taken place over the past year.
RBA Boss Philip Lowe addressed the media in Sydney moments ago, where he was received with great fanfare.
“That’ll do, pig,” he said.
“That’ll do. That’s all. Have a good day.”
Armed with the knowledge that the Reserve Bank wasn’t going to increase interest rates until 2024, thousands of households around the country borrowed with reckless abandon in the hopes of finally getting that slice of Australia that they felt they deserved.
However, it wasn’t to be and the Reserve Bank boss Philip Lowe became the national whipping boy for “honey-dicking” people into “investing in property” when they should’ve been punting their entire pay packets on small cap lithium miners.
Now that the bad times are clearly over, boring theories like Minsky’s Financial Instability Hypothesis and laissez-faire capitalism are on the back burner at financial institutions and banks have been ordered at gunpoint by Mr Lowe himself to begin lending again – or else.
When pressed on why he referred to the wider mortgage-holding public as “pigs”, Mr Lowe laughed.
“Think about it,” he said.
“We said that there might be a pause on rates until 2024 and every man and his dog went out to get a bigger mortgage. They bought an investment property. It’s extremely piggish behaviour,”
“Now that we’ve deemed that you decadent western pigs have stopped spending frivolously in the economy to the point where inflation becomes something even vaguely in grasp of controlling, I bet some of you try to borrow even more. When we put the rates up again next month, you’ll cry and sook about not being able to pay your mortgage,”
“Pigs.”
More to come.
