KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
Australia’s Premier Music, Arts and Youth Culture festival ‘Splendour In The Grass’ has received a large financial boost this week, following a strategic rebrand which saw the festival finally align with the values of both State and Federal Governments.
In a public announcement broadcast simultaneously by Triple J, Double J and Jay Jays stores, the iconic Australian festival announced that it would be renaming itself, ‘God’s Splendour In The Holy Fields’.
The move is believed to have netted the festival 500 million dollars in government money.
The festival will now feature a new and improved baptised lineup of Australian artists including ‘Northeast Worship House’, ‘The Chats with Christ’ and ‘Spacey Judas’, while also boasting a number of new big-name international acts including ‘Yungblud Of Christ’ and ‘Tyler, The Creator (Not of The Universe, that was God Duh!)’
Thanks to the new lineup of Hillsong approved Jesus jinglers, it’s understood the popular festival, colloquially known as “Splendahhh”, will now receive 500 million dollars funding plus the ability to legally entertain over 250,000 punters at the large Byron Parklands site.
Speaking to The Advocate, a spokesperson for Splendour said they were excited to welcome a new era for the Arts and Music festival.
“Well obviously the only way to get any live music happening in this country is to buddy up with Jesus and say you’re a Christian holiday camp, so that’s exactly what we’ve done!”
“All the artists are onboard, they haven’t been able to play a single show in almost two years so they’d happily do a gig at a nursing home at the moment”.
When asked about the new boost in financial support, the festival conceded that the government has plans to turn the event into a PR exercise.
“Only thing we’ve had to make a handshake agreement on is agreeing to let Scotty from Marketing come onstage before the big headliners and address the amphitheatre”
“I think his script writers are drafting up some festival chat for him to preach…”
“Probably something like “How GOOD are pingerz!”
More to come.
