Report: Mid-Arvo Piss Ups On Gorgeous Queenslander-Style Verandas Are So Good

Sinking piss on a gorgeous Queenslander-style-stilted-timber-veranda is one Australia’s most valuable offerings when it comes to quality of life – a global survey examining 450 cities has found.

The River City Capital and several other river settlement in Northern New South Wales and further north in Queensland have been compared with Basel, Switzerland in Mercer’s 19th annual Quality of Living survey, which provides rankings for 231 of the 450 cities.

“What we have found is that both religious extremism and lone wolf spree-killings are less likely to be perpetrated by people who have been lucky enough to experience a heavy session on a timber veranda in the mid arvo sun while some Powderfinger is blaring in the background” said the NYC-based lead researcher, Professor Horan.

“It’s just so good. I hadn’t experienced it until I got to Queensland to do this survey. Seriously good vibes” he wrote in the report.

“Forget the beaches, forget the Outback. Just go full Jacaranda and let the air into a few cold BB tins”

“Deadset”

The annual survey, which is run by Mercer to help companies “compensate employees fairly when placing them on international assignments” considered factors including a city’s political stability, crime levels, economic environment, whether or not a good band like Powderfinger has come from their there, personal and cultural freedom, health services, standard of education, pub culture transportation, housing and environment and how good the local rugby league side is.

On the other end of the spectrum, developing, unsafe and war-torn cities were among the worse places for quality of living. Baghdad ranked in last place, with Melbourne in Victoria, Damascus in Syria and Port au Prince in Haiti also among the bottom 10.