ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
An old gibberer from our town’s bohemian French Quarter has surprised himself this afternoon after fixing something on his own.
Dennis Mulligan has been calling tradespeople his whole life. He told The Advocate that the only thing he’s able to do on his own is change a light bulb and perhaps connect a washing machine if there was a gun to his head. While many men in society wouldn’t freely admit that, Dennis is an architect, so people already think he’s as useful as a surprise visit from WorkSafe.
This morning, the leaking kitchen sink in his somewhat renovated terrace house became too big to ignore. But before he called a plumber to come over and rip him off blind, he thought he’d “google” a solution.
Speaking to our reporter, the 58-year-old said out of nowhere, he decided to back himself.
“I had an electrician come in the other day to wire a new doorbell system for me, and I couldn’t help but notice he was doing the crossword,” he said.
“It was the one in your paper. I remember it well because I spent ages trying to get 38 down. I asked the electrician if he got it, and to my surprise, he said he did. So I asked him what it was, and it was a word that was six letters too long. I tried to explain it to him, but he just laughed at me and told me I should’ve listened harder in school. He laughed even harder after that.”
“That made me think, ‘How hard can this tradie thing be?’ So I went on YouTube and found a video that shows you how to change washers in a tap. I learned so much. Did you know you can turn the water off to your whole house out the front? Amazing. I’m going to turn the water off at my friend’s house for a joke!”
“I went to Bunnings and got all the tools I needed. A homely Canadian man told me what I needed. I took them home and got the job done in about an hour. And it works. I’m never calling a tradesman again!”
“This weekend, I’m going to put in my own electric car charger in. There’s a video for that too!”
More to come.
