LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Days after the remaining people who cared watched a dole bludger be crowned King of the British Empire, Nan has confirmed that the hours long epic is even better a second time.
After failing to convince any grandchildren to ‘witness history’ with her, local nana Gertrude Milker, aka Nana Gurts, watched old Charles play dress up for the 3+ hours the whole ordeal went for, breaking only for adverts and to tell pop to stop playing solitaire and look at what’s happening.
Even after having watched the aeons long presentation of stolen jewellery, Nana Gurts decided she would watch it again later despite knowing at no point does Johnny English appear and expose the arse of the Archbishop of Canterbury during the live coverage.
“I just wish the Queen could have been here to see it,” stated Nana Gurts, evidently forgetting how succession works for a sec.
“It was just such an amazing ceremony, my oh my am I glad we taped it.”
“There’s a lot of great little details you notice the second time round like how happy Charles looks about the whole thing.”
Although her family find the coronation about as charming as a cult initiation, Nana Gurts has reminded them that it’s always there to watch should they change their mind.
“Mum has warned us to not say that we’re bored otherwise she might pop the coronation on and it will be My Fair Lady all over again,” stated granddaughter Olivia who at the age of 10 is now already a staunch advocate for an Australian republic.
“When I was little I wouldn’t eat my dinner so [nana] served it up to me the next day for breakfast. God I hope she’s not going to serve the crononation [sic] to me later.”
“If she does I’m going to point out Prince Andrew every time he appears on screen.”
